I'm trying to stay positive but it is difficult. I would like to relax and enjoy my time off but there is a constant nagging of will I get a job? I've applied for 5 openings and sadly heard back from 2 that I will not be interviewed. Ouch! How can a NBCT not even get an interview?
My biggest concern is insurance. At the end of this month we will no longer be covered. I'm not worried about Rob and I but I do want the boys to be covered. I can't chance one of them getting hurt or sick and needing to go to the doctor or ER.
Today is my day to make some calls. I need to look into unemployment, find a lawyer, and make dental and eye appointments if possible.
My plan is to try to do three things each day:
1. do some house chore - today was scrub the bathroom
2. do some job task - today is unemployment and call about a reference letter
3. do something for myself to exercise - today will be walking to geocache
4. write every day
Hopefully, my four pronged approach will keep me from getting down or too stressed. I am so lucky to have a husband that is happy to have me home and is not worried about me being off - at least not yet!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day Two - One More Tie Cut
I want to be happy and excited about having the time off but it is hard to enjoy it when you don't know when you'll be getting a paycheck again. I also feel like I need to make the house my job since I'm not working. These are not expectations of my husband but of myself.
I am hoping writing will bring back my humor. I seem to have lost it over the last year. I need to get out of the bitter barn.
Our good family friends just got back from vacation and wanted the boys over for a play date. I took the time to clear out my desk at work, another tie to cut in the separation process. It was like some crazy novel. I had to come after hours - God forbid I say goodbye to co-workers and have any closer - and call for the HR person to come and let me up. My desk was stacked with all my files and a bag had items someone deemed to be personal. I had forgotten that I'd already gone through all my files and removed any that belonged to me months ago. This made flipping through almost 5 years of notes a little quicker which was a good thing since the HR person had to stand there watching me the whole time. Sad that they know me so little after so long that they think this was necessary. I have more character than that!
I am hoping writing will bring back my humor. I seem to have lost it over the last year. I need to get out of the bitter barn.
Our good family friends just got back from vacation and wanted the boys over for a play date. I took the time to clear out my desk at work, another tie to cut in the separation process. It was like some crazy novel. I had to come after hours - God forbid I say goodbye to co-workers and have any closer - and call for the HR person to come and let me up. My desk was stacked with all my files and a bag had items someone deemed to be personal. I had forgotten that I'd already gone through all my files and removed any that belonged to me months ago. This made flipping through almost 5 years of notes a little quicker which was a good thing since the HR person had to stand there watching me the whole time. Sad that they know me so little after so long that they think this was necessary. I have more character than that!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Day One - A New Identity
Today is the first day with my new identity. I am unemployed. An education generalist for hire. A stay at home mom for the summer - hopefully not longer.
I'm slowly coming out of my haze. I was ready to leave but it is still hard to go, to leave behind a part of you and move on. I can't relax yet because there is still paperwork to complete, a lawyer to meet with and my cubicle to clear out. Once all the ties have been broken, I hope to be able to relax and enjoy the summer with my kids. I'm looking forward to bike rides, park visits and play dates.
I really think this is a blessing. I've wanted to leave for over a year but change is hard. And when work is taking all the energy you have, there's nothing left for looking for a new job. The question now is: what's next? I need to find my passion again. I loved teaching and being in the classroom but is that where I will be?
I'm slowly coming out of my haze. I was ready to leave but it is still hard to go, to leave behind a part of you and move on. I can't relax yet because there is still paperwork to complete, a lawyer to meet with and my cubicle to clear out. Once all the ties have been broken, I hope to be able to relax and enjoy the summer with my kids. I'm looking forward to bike rides, park visits and play dates.
I really think this is a blessing. I've wanted to leave for over a year but change is hard. And when work is taking all the energy you have, there's nothing left for looking for a new job. The question now is: what's next? I need to find my passion again. I loved teaching and being in the classroom but is that where I will be?
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